Eva Longoria refused to ''judge'' her then-husband when he sent inappropriate texts to another woman.
The 'Desperate Housewives' actress confronted Tony Parker - who she was married to for three years before they split in November 2010 - when she learned he had sent hundreds of messages to mutual friend Erin Barry but promised him she wouldn't get angry as he explained his actions.
She said: ''Even having the conversation, I really wanted to provide a pillow for him to say and express 'the why.' Because I really wanted to know why. It was like, 'I don't want to judge you. I'm not going to judge you. I'm not going to be mad in this moment. I'll be mad later.'
''People say, 'What grace!' And it wasn't that. I really wanted to know, and if you genuinely want to get something out of somebody, you have to not judge.''
Eva admitted having the chat with Tony didn't make her ''feel better'' but it allowed her to ''understand'' his actions, though she has had moments of self-doubt.
She said: ''It was definitely not about me. [Having the conversation] didn't make me feel better, but it helped me understand.
''I am so secure in who I am. I really am! And I'm not conceited. I just think, 'Wow, OK, that's the life you want to live.' It wasn't about who he chose.
''I mean, I had moments [where I wondered], 'Am I not sexy enough? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not smart enough?' But in so many of those questions, I immediately stopped and said, 'No, don't start doing that.' Because you can get stuck in that cycle and you can carry on to other things.''
Eva - whose divorce was finalised 16 months ago - has since dated Eduardo Cruz but is now single and admits she is ''having a lot of fun'' again.
Speaking on TV show 'The Conversation With Amanda de Cadenet', she added: ''I'm in a transitional state where I have no rules and I have no boundaries, and I don't really want to put those back up.''