Johnny Depp thinks gossips should stop chatting - and start masturbating.
The heartthrob actor says people who sit around speculating about celebrities and their love lives should find something else to entertain them.
He stormed: "This is a rumour-filled society and if people want to sit around and talk about who I've dated, then I'd say they have a lot of spare time and should consider other topic or even masturbation."
The handsome star - who has two children with long-time partner Vanessa Paradis - also confessed he's willing fight with paparazzi to protect his family.
He fumed to Britain's Loaded magazine: "I don't care if they take my photograph. I don't care if they take Vanessa's photograph - we're adults.
But when they start taking photos of my kids and putting them in their magazines that I can't support.
"That's why they should have the long lens - just make sure that you're really far away because if I'm able to get my hands on you I'll swallow your nose. I'd bite your nose off and swallow it."